Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
What do you call a fake bone?
A faux-knee.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
Matt.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
A person without arms and a knife in their mouth is still technically armed,
but only to the teeth.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...
She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".
To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
You’re my heartthrob.
"Lazy bones."
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
Why are bones so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
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