I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
What is a skeletons favorite meal?
Anything with Ribs.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
Why was the skeleton so lonely?
He had no body.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
"Bone to be wild."
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
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