Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
What do you call it when a pillow hits its head?
A concushion.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
Why was the skeleton so lonely?
He had no body.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
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