Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
"No body won the skeleton race."
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
It's better to amputate at the shoulder,
Its twice as much work to cut off forearms.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.
I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
"Bone to be wild."
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
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