My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head
I said "Well that's mature."
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
What do you call a skeleton's favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
I have a heart-on for you.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
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