Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
I can heartly wait to see you again.
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
"Lazy bones."
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?
Because it’s got a marrow waistline.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
"Some people have no guts."
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
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