"Do you play the trom-bone?"
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
"No body won the skeleton race."
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?
He was bored to death.
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.
I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
"Let's have some skele-fun."
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
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