Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
My wife bought me an expensive umbrella and she’s been holding it over my head ever since.
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
Why are bones so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
It's better to amputate at the shoulder,
Its twice as much work to cut off forearms.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
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