What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day. She said "Wow that's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand!"
I said "Come on you're just pulling my leg."
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
It was booby trapped.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What does a skeleton play in a band?
A Trom-Bone.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
Go to BabaMail
