What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
A fly fell down out of nowhere on my wrist
It died on my watch.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
"Lazy bones."
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?
He was bored to death.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?
He was a small-arms dealer.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
I threw a fuzzy peach at my doctor's head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar."
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
"Some people have no guts."
I can heartly wait to see you again.
I'll fight you with my bear hands.
Oh, deer.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
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