Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
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