What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
Biology - It grows on you.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
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