What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
A thief stole my toothbrush.
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
A Molar Bear.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
My dad was fixing the basin in the bathroom and accidentally broke some tiles.
My mother said, "I told you that method would be fewtile".
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
I want to open a doctors office with a nail salon inside.
It’ll be called “Many Cures and Manicures”.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
I went to the hardware store and told the cashier I had to replace the plumbing for my sink. "Water pipes?" She asked.
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
My wife misplaced some of her makeup...
She said, "I can't find my concealer".
And I said, "Wow, sounds like it's some good stuff then!"
I bought some clear, liquid hand-soap today.
Got home and realized that I can't use it...
My hands are solid, and opaque.
I once knew an arrogant sponge.
He was very self absorbed
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Getting tired of all this laundry. I’m going to throw the towel in.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
When does makeup run?
When you mascare it off.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
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