Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state-of-the-art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
They're calling it Mercedes-clenz.
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects? A con artist.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
I knew a guy who gave away his art but he only seemed to paint ducks with incomplete faces.
I asked about it once and he said "I like to bill them later."
What do you call a painting by a cat of herself? A self paw-trait.
When Papa red wanted to have some toppings on his bread, he told Son red, "Pass me the crimson!"
I was going to joke about my broken pencil, but it was pointless.
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
Which barnyard animal is a famous painter?
Vincent Van Goat
Where does a cow hang his best paintings? In a moo-seum, of course.
The art teacher encourages her students to move in the light direction.
Why can't a tattoo artist be faithful? Because he always has designs on his clients.
Artists are colorful people who know how to draw on their emotions.
Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
What was the artist's favorite swimming stroke? The brushstroke.
After bidding farewell to my neurosurgeon friend, we promised that we would grey in touch!
Did you hear about the artist's really messy house? He said it was 'a work in progress'.
I went to a new kind of show yesterday, which was hosted by a color-changing lizard. He was a good stand-up chameleon.
TV news anchors love the shades of red. They get serious whenever there is Burgundy.
Where will you find an FBI sketch artist? In the bureau drawer.
The only thing that is black and white and has to be red all over is a newspaper.
After a tiring day at work, my wife drew me a relaxing bath. It wasn't very smart of me to ask if it was going to be in color or a sketch.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
When the time came, he betrayed our team and showed his blue colors.
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
What's long, surprisingly bigger than expected, comes in different colors, and everyone wants a ride from?
A limousine.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
If a purple-colored fruit gets stuck in your drain, then you should call a plum-ber to fix it.
What do zombies use to color their hair?
Dye of the dead!
Don't get caught between a chalk and a hard place.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
Wind turbine mechanics and engineers are very fond of the blew color!
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Q. What is a mime's favorite time of the day?
A. Dusk, because all the colors are muted.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
They say that the cardio system is the work of artery, but it is really just vein.
While building a house, the architect took his fingers and dipped them in a jar of blue ink. He wanted to get the blueprints!
I recently ran a charity marathon to promote greener earth, but the run left me a little jaded.
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
I was wondering about the color of the wind when it suddenly occurred to me that it blue.
The graphic designer's present company gave her a substantial raise while a rival company also gave a similar offer. I am now caught in hue minds!
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
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