Did you see the display of still-life art? It was not at all moving.
I knew a guy who gave away his art but he only seemed to paint ducks with incomplete faces.
I asked about it once and he said "I like to bill them later."
What do zombies use to color their hair?
Dye of the dead!
The only thing that is black and white and has to be red all over is a newspaper.
The leech, who is good at drawing blood, applied for a job in an art gallery.
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
The fact that we were asked to leave our beautiful purple color house by the owner is still purplexing for me.
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
Why can't a tattoo artist be faithful? Because he always has designs on his clients.
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light. Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
The most notorious one of all pirates was very sad. It may have been because he was Bluebeard!
After a tiring day at work, my wife drew me a relaxing bath. It wasn't very smart of me to ask if it was going to be in color or a sketch.
Why do old artists never die? They just put things in perspective.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Q. Where do red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet crayons like to go hiking?
A. Colorado.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Did you hear about the artist's really messy house? He said it was 'a work in progress'.
Where will you find an FBI sketch artist? In the bureau drawer.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...
What do you call a chameleon that can't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
Q: How does an artist fill in a CV?
A: He draws on experience.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
It's tough to tell if the sky is ever happy or not. It always looks so blue!
Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?
A: Make them do limeout.
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
The snow leopard appeared just at the time our guide predicted it. It appeared white on time!
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects? A con artist.
I was going to joke about my broken pencil, but it was pointless.
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
What's the difference between a colorful women's garment and a famous live music venue?
One's a house of blues, the other's a blouse of hues.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.
The pirate steals arrrrt when he has the chance.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
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