What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
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