Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
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