Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
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