In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
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