Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
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