How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Go to BabaMail
