I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
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