Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.