A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”