Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!