How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.