What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.