Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”