What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.