Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.