Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.