How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.