Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.