Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.