If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.