Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
I don't know don't about your faucet, but mine is doing a pour job.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
I bought a larger sink with a built in subwoofer.
My current one doesn't have enough basin.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
Why did the realtor buy his home right beside a porta-potty?
Because it was a leakfront property!
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
Have you ever seen a girl done makeup while camping?
It's pretty in tents.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
My mom is a metalurgist
I asked her the other day: "Which metal do you prefer to work with? Gold or silver?"
She said: "Either ore."
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
Time to celery-brate.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
How would you describe a pun about a pun?
They're pun-ishingly bad!
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
Salty but sweet.
Someone just stole some grass from my garden.
Strange I know, thought robbers stuck to their own turf.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What did the first thunderstorm of the year say?
Hail to the spring!
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Keep calm and leprech-on.
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!