Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
A tree toad loved a she-toad,
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a three-toed tree toad,
But a two-toed toad was she.
The three-toed tree toad tried to win,
The two-toed she-toad's heart,
For the three-toed tree toad loved the ground,
That the two-toed tree toad trod.
But the three-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower,
With her two-toed power,
The she-toad vetoed him.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Why was the jar about to explode?
Cause it was jam-packed!
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
What do you call an East-European cosmetic?
Nail Polish.
Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
All of those sleepless knights.
Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Just bought my wife a refrigerator, for our Anniversary:
Cannot wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
I threw a party for all the workers who helped build my house. The door guy showed up late...
...but he really knew how to make an entrance.
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
He threw three free throws.
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
“Dachshund Through the Snow.”
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
You’re brew-tiful!
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Those who study the moon for their course or as a habit, are optimists. And that is because they look at the brighter side always.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.