What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Hey summer, long time no sea!
What does a millennial cowboy say?
Yeet Haw!
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
I love you and I ain’t lion.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
My wife bought me a scalp massager for Christmas, but I couldn't figure out what it was.
Turns out it was a real head scratcher.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Where do robots go for fun?
The circuits.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
A tree fell over in our yard but we aren't sure why.
We're looking for the root cause.
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!