Fish Puns

Nothing fishy here... it's just the world's largest fish pun collection!

Fish Puns

What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.