Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!