Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?