What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
