Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!