What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.