My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
