What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.