What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you call an alert ant?
Vigil-ant.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.