Animal Puns

Animals and puns are two terrific things. Put them together and things get really punny!

Animal Puns

What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.