How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.