I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.