Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!