What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.