What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.