What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you call a Tyrannosaurus under stress?
A nervous rex.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good