How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.