Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.