What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!